I feel like the resentment towards one of my schools was pretty apparent in my blog posts recently. If I got away undetected, I’m glad because I really tried to remain neutral. Anyway, after a (very long) year there, I finally had my last lesson and finally my last day came.
I’m never good with goodbyes. My high school and college graduations? I was a gonner. Leaving a part time job? Cue the waterworks. Even for trivial things like leaving for vacations, I’ve been known to shed some tears. So you can imagine how I am when it comes to bigger things like a goodbye after one year (which, objectively, I understand isn’t even a very long time).
My first (final) goodbye of the year was the one to the school I go to only once a year. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting it because I was scheduled another day—graduation day—after my final day of lessons. I was expecting to say my goodbyes on graduation day. Instead, I was asked to say some final words to the teachers on the day of my last lessons. And I wasn’t expecting it, and ended up bawling.
I actually only had one lesson on my final day (I usually have three). I originally wasn’t scheduled for any, but one of my favorite students asked his teacher to reschedule things and made time for one last class together. But, because I didn’t see my other students in class that day, some of the teachers made time during homeroom so I could say goodbye to them. Of course, I started crying again. And finally, I cried one last time as I said my final goodbyes as I ran to catch the bus.
For my main school, I was determined not to cry. ‘I’m happy to be leaving,’ I constantly had to remind myself. I was doing really well too! My Eigo Tanto came to my desk and told me that I’d have to give a small speech in the teacher’s room in the afternoon, and I didn’t feel that familiar quiver when I was about to cry. The only time I wavered and felt my eyes get sore was when my favorite office worker (she called me Morgan-chan) came up to me, held my hand, and told me to take care. Thinking about that is making me tear up a bit now.
Anyway, afternoon came around. I was already done with classes and had cleaned up my English room, so I was just hanging out in the teacher’s room. I got to the front of the room and started my speech strong. But then the Principal came out and presented me with a bouquet of flowers, and I was done. I started crying. And then they pulled out a camera to snap some final pictures, and I’m positive I’m red-eyed and sniffling in each one of them.
While I’m never going to forget how miserable and stressed out my main school made me, I still value my time there. I still felt sad when I was leaving, and I felt their genuine sadness that I was leaving. As 4:20 rolled around and I packed up my stuff for the last time, an entourage followed me. Out of the teacher’s room, everyone was there, walking with me. They walked me to the school genkan where I said goodbye to all of them, as they waved and smiled at me. And of course I was crying.